Moonless Night (EPOV NM)

[ellana]

In case the abbreviations confuse anyone, this is...*drumrollll*
MOONLESS NIGHT ( New Moon from Edward's perspective0

(well he WAS gone and moping for QUITE a while . There's an entire story there we didn't get)

Enjoy!!

P.S ANY feedback would be greatly appreciated

[ellana]

DISCLAIMER: I, of course, do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story. All of the characters are the property of Stephanie Meyer and associates








(Chapter 3 in ‘New Moon’)
1. The End

I was acutely aware of the overwhelming revulsion threatening to tear me in half.
It was all I could manage to remain upright, but the agony intensified, refusing to be ignored. I could feel a fault line forming through my chest, making it very difficult to breathe.
To solve the problem, I simply stopped breathing.
It was no help.
I fought to keep a calm exterior, though my hands still clenched into fists on their own accord, possessed by a torment that reminded me wildly of what Jane was capable of. It seemed useless to fight against pain so strong that I was locked in place, though my heart was trying its very best to claw its way from my –impossibly-- still intact frame.
“Goodbye, Bella.”
I had been rehearsing this line for so long, dreading the moments after it with a devouring fervor for so many days…That I couldn’t help the calm, cool tone with which it escaped my constricted throat.
The gig was up, then.
There was no way Bella would be fooled by a line that seemed as impossibly rehearsed as that…But the dawning comprehension on her face proved otherwise.
I hastily looked away, the better so that she wouldn’t be able to read my expression.
The fact that I had managed to say the words at all only enhanced the nightmarish quality of this moment.
There was a shift in the air as the lie registered with her. Her heart sputtered frantically, her breathing spiked and hitched as it choked in her throat.
That in itself nearly set me back on my promise – the one where I had promised to keep Bella safe, under any means.
Including this.
I could feel the panic, shock, hurt…Every emotion I had ever sworn to protect Bella from, every feeling that now lashed at my soul – or, now, clearly authenticated lack thereof -- as it played across her face.
Like a coward, I ran.
I had already left a note for Charlie in Bella’s hand, telling him that she had gone for a walk in the forest. He would find her if she didn’t return. I knew that I couldn’t stay in Forks, and more importantly that I had to get as far away from her as possible before what I had done fully registered for myself. I only had so much self control, and all of my self preservation instincts would only send me back to her.

Right on cue, natural instinct kicked in.

Agony tore through me, though I had been coming to terms with what I had to do for several days.
Every cell of my body ached in protest, screamed in defiance, writhed in unbearable agony…But the time had long passed where I cared whether I myself lived or died.
Which, I knew, without Bella, I surely would. But if figurative death for me was what it took to ensure a life for her...Then there really wasn’t even a choice. Of course I would take it a million times over, it was hardly fair to even suggest otherwise.
The old human adage stated that to love someone was to let them go. Couldn’t she see that was what I was doing now? Part of me wanted so desperately for her to understand, but I knew how foolish it was to hope against hope at a time like this.
I wasn’t meant to be a part of her world, and the time had long since passed where I had been forced to the conclusion that, one way or another, one of us would be leaving that world permanently. Better me than her. I shuddered at the thought.
Again, I had to marvel.
She had believed me.
She had actually, truly believed me.
Believed that I could possibly live without needing her.
Even after the million times I had told her I loved her! How could one word have broken her faith in me so quickly?
If I lived to be one hundred-thousand years old, no misdeed I ever committed could ever come close to being as abhorrently horrendous as that. At least this was the last time I would ever hurt her. The thought almost calmed me.
‘The course of true love never did run smooth.
Love is a familiar.
Love is a devil.
There is no evil angel but Love.’

[Alice Cullen]

Wow! Great! I love it! Very good job.

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